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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?